Why I Need to Stop Comparing

Hannah Banana is due for a revised goal setting meeting with Birth to Three. Our last one was for her to be able to sit unassisted, which she has been doing since mid-December. I’m hesitant to rewrite her IFSP (Individual Family Service Plan) because it takes away from a therapy appointment and I don’t want to think about what she’s not doing.

Most days I don’t even think about Hannah’s delays because doing her exercises is a normal part of our routine now. There are some days, though, that it’s so glaringly obvious that she’s behind her peers. Like when someone asks us how old Hannah is and says she must be walking by now…or at least crawling… Or when I made the mistake of asking a daycare dad how old is just-starting-to-walk daughter is. When he said she’s 9 months old I felt a small (ok fine, it was big) twinge of envy.

Besides sitting on her own, Hannah doesn’t seem interested in much other physical progression and her last few PT appointments have been less than stellar because she was either too hungry/tired to participate, struggling with some tummy issues, or full on passed out and snoring like a pig. At last week’s home appointment she was tired and hungry and sucking on her pacifier like it was a hooked up to an all you can drink milk machine. She had no interest in being on her belly and just wanted to sit and stare at her toys.

Maureen took Hannah’s apathy as approval to manipulate her into a few different positions – kneeling, hands & knees, and even some standing. Hannah didn’t seem to mind and at one point Maureen let go of Hannah’s hips while she was on her hands & knees. I expected Hannah to face plant into the floor. Instead she rocked herself like she was practicing crawling. In that moment I reminded myself to stay out of the comparison game. Hannah is clearly stronger than I’ve been giving her credit for lately.


So what if Hannah can’t crawl or pull herself up yet? That doesn’t make or break her day so I shouldn’t let it bother me. Her social and communications skills are incredibly strong, which is a lot more important for a kid to be happy. Hannah will sure as hell let you know when she’s hungry or tired, or wants more or less attention. She reaches her arms out to me when she wants to be held. She swats her bottle away when she’s full. She reaches for her spoon and whines if I take a break from feeding her. She grabs my hand and pulls it to her body if she wants more tickles. Playtime gets more fun with her each day because she remembers toys or games and anticipates my next move.


2 thoughts on “Why I Need to Stop Comparing

  1. Denise

    Hugs mama! It’s hard not to glance over and see what other kids are doing at the same age. I just tell myself no college application will ask “when did he start walking” or “when did she start to self-feed” … so what if my little man isn’t walking yet? He’s clearly able to get where he wants to crawling, and before that, rolling 😉

    Ps. Great job Hannah! Holding yourself up in a “ready-to-crawl” position 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pam

    Yay for Hannah who didn’t face plant! Her social and communication skills are
    great… And most important at this time. Those skills speak to how interactive you guys are with her!!!
    You are terrific parents!!


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