Last Thanksgiving I wasn’t feeling super thankful because 2014 was a crappy year. Sure, there was excitement from all the babies born and on the way, but overall it kind of sucked. I was ready for it to be over and I vividly remember thinking “next year can’t possibly be any worse.”
2015 tricked me into thinking it would be fun. Then the hits started coming…a car accident, Hannah’s surprise diagnoses, the stress of living on one paycheck during tax season and an oil-heated winter, a serious health issue with a family member, and many other less serious problems that felt like globs of icing continuously piled on a shitty cake that we didn’t want.
It couldn’t have been any later than April when I was started dreaming of 2016. I wanted a new year and a fresh start. We were still neck-deep in our grief and sorrow and anxiety and at the time it seemed like it would never end. I wouldn’t have believed someone if they told me that 2015 would be our best year. The year that we would learn and grow and love more than we ever thought possible. The year that we would have so much to be thankful for, more than I sometimes think we deserve.
In honor of Thanksgiving, here’s a short list of what I’m thankful for…
I’m thankful that Pete and I have parents who will drop everything to help us, and that Hannah has four grandparents that love her to the moon and back. That her aunts, uncles, and cousins are so good to her and give us so much love and support.
I’m thankful that my friends still like me even though I’m terrible at keeping in touch and for still invited us to hang out with them. That the kindest, strongest, most beautiful woman in the world is my best friend and that she always says what I need to hear.
I’m thankful that Pete and I did not let this year break us, and that we love each other more every day, and more importantly, that we still like each other. He puts up with my sassiness and silliness and has the sweetest conversations with Hannah.
I’m thankful that Gamy is the best dog ever, and quickly forgave us for bringing home a tiny, but loud, human. Her interest, patience, and tolerance with our friends’ kids makes me excited for the future shenanigans between her and Hannah.
I’m thankful that Hannah’s daycare teachers take great care of our baby, and that they’re helping us reach her developmental goals. When I hear them say they love Hannah I know that she is in the right place, which means after three months I finally stopped wanting to cry after drop off.
I’m thankful that my employer doesn’t make me feel bad about missing work for Hannah’s appointments, and that my coworkers love Hannah and ask about her very often. Their prayers helped carry us through surgery day.
And finally, this kid.
I’m so incredibly thankful that she is alive. That she survived creation, pregnancy, birth, and surgery. That her heart is healed and that she’s thriving, and learning, and makes my heart explode daily.
I’m thankful that she has my eyes, that she’s already a comedienne, and that she smiles with her whole face.
I’m thankful for the excruciating love that I have for her. I’m thankful that she is ours. That she changed my world and that I have the honor of being her mother.